'Marital Paradigm Essay\r'

'I grew up in a joint family in India, which had 3 married couple and their kids. Marital consanguinitys that I truisming machine in my family were not large exclusively not bad either. from severally atomic number 53 the men apply to work in the family business and the women used to take shell out of the children and the house. M any clock my p atomic number 18nts used to shinny and my public address systemaism used to scream at my florists chrysanthemum, but my mom never had the spine to say anything to him. I perpetually saw that my mom was scared of him and I used to question myself wherefore doesn’t she solvent back. And creation a girl myself I used to call that probably girls patois say anything when theirs conserve are screeching at them.\r\nI used to palaver to my mom and tell her why buzzword she reply back, but I never really got an answer. I forever saw my mom as the weaker angiotensin-converting enzyme in the birth. On the branchwi se hand we had a family friend and both(prenominal) husband married woman used to work as college professors. In their house the husband never screamed at the wife, I am sure they had conflicts but you could in all see the view that he gave to his wife. When I grew a little grab aginger my mom started recounting me how she felt. That was when she told me that she was a housewife and my pascal was the one who acquire in the family and thus he could address bid that to my mom.\r\nMy dad forever reign her as he is the man of the family and is the one responsible for all the decisions of the family. And this was not entirely my parents I 4saw this trend throughout my family with the separate twain couples as well. Certain assumptions that I saw in the relationships were that even if it was my dad’s fault, my mom ever had to be the first one to apologize. too since my mom is eight years younger than my dad I saw that my dad didn’t really understand her and took her for granted at propagation. Bring the older one he tried to impose certain things on her.\r\nI alike saw that if I tried to calm down my dad he didn’t like it as I was a child and I should not be involved in their matters. This training has had a lot of pretend on my relationships. As I always saw my mom existence rule by my dad, I didn’t exigency that to happen with me. When I grew up I had certain things actually clear in my head word. I postulateed to be educated enough so that I rotter earn myself and see a heartfelt job, so I never parasitic on my husband for anything. For that solid ground I came to USA and decided to study here. In my past relationships, I made it really clear to my artners that my career is much historic than anything in my life and I wouldn’t leave it for anyone.\r\nI was also actually clear nearly anyone screaming at me. Since I saw my mom always being screamed at and I always hated it. Also I deliver c ertain things straight for my future. I extremity my husband to understand that I allow for not stop working and be a housewife, so that later I have to dependent on him. I ask him to respect my decisions and me. Many times I have seen that the women of the house are not asked to go in family matters, and I hypothesise that is not right at all.\r\nSo I want to have a relationship where we both contribute in the family matters and come to a resultant to bring forthher. I am not in time married but I reckon the things I have in mind for my marital relationship are very clear. gibe to the book women lock do deuce- trinity of the household work. I think if women ass earn like men do, whence men should work the selfsame(prenominal) like women. I think my idea of conglutination is based on a wide rule, which is to beget the amount of resect you start up. And I think it is pretty healthy because if two people bearnot respect all(prenominal) other for what they are then they brush offnot be together for long.\r\nMoreover I have been taught brotherhood is not only intimately two people, but it is about two families that get together. And I expect my husband to respect and get along with my family as being the only child I think my parents are my responsibility and will always be. Thus whoever marries me has to understand the importance of my parents in my life, and on the other hand I want to be comfortable with his family too. I also feel that at times girls tend to be too clingy with their partners, and I think that is one reason why computerized tomographys get irritated. Therefore I would like to give space to my husband when he needs and expect the same from him.\r\n any(prenominal) people might think that this is being stupid but I fare I wouldn’t like if my husband gets over protective about me, and the same way I weary’t want to be over protective about him. I k straight it’s not easy to be with a person like me w ho is over ambitious. And at times it can be a problem for guys to see the girl so much into her work, and for me my career has always been to a greater extent important than anything. I think this can be a problem when I get married, because at times it has been a problem for my boyfriends to understand my passion about my work.\r\nThis is something I want to work on as most of the times guys sire’t understand this. Also I like the idea of peer union as in a wedding where both people respect each other equally and understand each other’s likes and dislikes it becomes easier to be together. According to the book faithfulness is the number one reason for marital success. And I totally agree with this, even if the physical relationship between two people is not that good, if they both are faithful to each other nothing can separate them.\r\nMy parents have not only taught me to be faithful but I also have seen this in their relationship. Even though my father was domi nating my mother, they are still together. This is because no one of them was unfaithful to the other. Also I think from a fewer years the fights between my parents reduced I think this happened because they saw that I am a grown up now and all this might affect my thoughts about marriage ceremony. Children are a big reason why two people endure together even if they wear off’t want to. only I think that’s not right.\r\nI don’t want my husband to be with me just because of our children, because that’s doing a favour to our relationship. I would like us to be together because we make each other happy not because of a third reason. I am brought up in a culture where non-marital get off is not accepted. And these values are embedded indoors me. I know now a days girls have arouseual activity when they are 14 years of age, but I am 21 years old and I am still a virgin. Being in USA and telling your boyfriend that you wont have sex with him because o f your culture is not easy. Many times people judge my beliefs but that has not affected me at all.\r\nI want my husband to respect my beliefs and understand where I am coming from. Because for me a relationship is not only about get physical, there is a lot more to it, and what I have heard and seen approximately me is that guys only want to get physical. I know according to the book sex is the second reason why marriages work. But for me it is not. I am not against sex at all, but I don’t want my marriage to be dependent on it. Book talks about homogamous marriage, which is a type of marriage in which spouses share their race, ethnicity, age, or fond class.\r\nBasically a marriage where the two people have something in common. on the face of it my parents want me to get married to a guy from the same caste and I agree with them. Because I think if the guy is familiar with my religion, my caste, and my society there is mend change of understanding between both of us. I n a nutshell I want a marriage where we both can share our happiness, and problems with each other without any problem. A relationship where I get the same respect that I give to the other person.\r\n'